A Constant Gift

“Every gift I will ever have to give to my children will be wholly or partly dependent on my situation. The only gift that will be 100% my choice is who their mother is.”Roy Samson

When I met Shelly, I had already learned so many things about myself and about love.  I had determined what were yellow flags and red flags for me, when choosing a spouse.  I had learned self-control (eh, well enough), and had gotten really selective about who I dated/courted however you want to look at it.  I gave myself these 3 dating rules:

Roy’s Dating Rules

  1. I don’t ask for a phone number until after seeing the girl 3 times.  I figure if we didn’t see each other out in public that many times without trying, then we don’t have enough in common.
  2. Mind the red flags.  They’re called red flags for a reason.  If you get red flagged during a sailboat race, it doesn’t matter if you come in first or last, you are out of the race.  From my past relationships, I’ve learned that dating a red flagged girl always ends messy.
  3. Treat every girl with respect.  A respectful man IS God’s greatest gift to women.  You raise the bar for your dating pool.  You also never know who you will end up with, which will minimize the embarrassment later on in life.

Dating is preparation for marriage.   Just like any preparation, there are things that you rehearse and things that you do to form your inner disposition so that when the time comes you will be ready.  In short, winning over Shelly’s heart when we were dating was only preparation to winning her heart over and over again while we are married.  Everyday I keep in the forefront of my mind that she is a gift to my children.  My first gift.  The only gift that comes completely from me, and of course her acceptance of me.   One of my roles as a dad is to let my children know with no doubt what she is.  What this woman is in our lives.  As a stay-home dad, I get the opportunity to do that while Shelly is at work.  We make crafts for Mommy, phone calls to Mommy, and little videos to let her know that we love her.

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