roy samson

Washing dishes

Am I proud of my son? Heck yeah!

Last Sunday, Trystan didn’t want to take a nap so I made him a deal. 

“If you want to stay awake, then you have to do what the grown ups do while you kids are napping.”

“Okay Daddy.”

So he washed dishes with me and afterward picked up all his toys in the livingroom. 

Watching two boys wash dishes may not sound too exciting, I just love hearing what Trystan has to say…

Chasing Daddy’s dreams

Booked from 11am to 9pm, it’s going to be a long day and I’m starting it at 4am. What’s on my plate? Well, I’ve been getting up between 3 and 4 in the morning to pray, write and exercise. Today is extra special because I have a ton of anxiety
about my to-do-list, so I had trouble going to bed last night as well.

Today is a living witness to “Son, don’t stop chasing your dreams.” I will never stop telling my children that, with my words and with my actions. Today I get to DJ and MC my first Bat Mitzvah, which I am so excited and grateful for. I’ve been preparing for a month on a setlist, practicing transitions and researching what kids like to listen to nowadays. My favorite music to DJ is 90’s – 2000’s hip-hop basically hitting the 20 and 30 somethings crowd, which is very convenient for weddings since, that’s about the age people are getting married in nowadays. This event has an age gap right in my sweet spot so I feel like I have to do some research to see what tweens like.

Gig number two is as an Emcee for a polynesian show, which I love to do because I have the “gift o’ gab” on the mic I strike, I make your party my lab and unleash the hype… yeah, I wish I could free flow when I’m actually on stage. I probably could if I didn’t get so self conscious and afraid about failing.

The third gig is teaching an introductory swing dance lesson at http://www.thirdsaturdayswing.com in Pasadena, CA. A once a month pleasure for me, since it’s probably my favorite monthly event.

Pretty crazy. It will be over 11 hours of being on-the-go and not seeing my kids. Well kids, daddy is chasing after his dreams and I want you to do the same. Whatever the obstacles, whatever the difficulties, whatever you’re afraid of, however long it takes, however old you are, get focused on what you love to do and go for it. And if your dream happens to be the same as mine, then I’ll teach you as much as I can; if it isn’t, then I’ll help you get started and be cheering for you the whole way through.

How to deal with two babies

Almost two years ago, Zoey was born.  Shelly and I were in the nursery ward at Providence Saint Joseph and I was sitting on the couch which was also my makeshift bed from the night before.  Trystan was at a children’s party with Kayla.  Ben and Sheri took him when Shelly started going in to labor the day before.  Zoey was in her crib sleeping next to Shelly.  We were tired, happy and in awe of the new addition to our family.  I couldn’t stop looking at her.  After taking her out for some tests, they brought her back in with a little pink bow in her hair.  It was held on by a small drop of petroleum jelly.  This is one of the reasons we love this hospital so much; the amazing staff.

There was a knock at the door.  “Come in!”  Shelly said.  A Catholic nun walks into the room.  Everyday she makes her rounds in the hospital to read scripture and give communion to the patients.  We chatted with her for a few minutes before she continued on.  We learned something from her that day that we have lived by and I believe is what makes Trystan and Zoey’s relationship the way it is.

“Is this your first baby?” Sister asked.
“No, she has a big brother.”
“Let me give you some advice.  If both babies are crying, take care of the older one first.  The second one won’t remember anything, but the first one will and might hold it against the baby.”

So from that day on every time Zoey and Trystan would both need attention, it doesn’t matter which one started crying first, we would go to Trystan and make sure that he was taken care of.  About a year later, when both of them were in need of attention I went directly up to Trystan to see what he needed.  He saw me coming and stopped calling for me, instead he pointed and directed me to Zoey.  “Look Daddy!  Zoey is crying.”  Since then, little by little he began to look to her needs more and more.

Here is a heartwarming episode that just happened this morning.  Shelly had already left for work, Trystan and I finished breakfast, and Trystan was working on a homework assignment on his little table (yes, he already has homework at 3 years old).  I hear Zoey crying from the bedroom so I bring her to the dining room table to get her breakfast ready.  Trystan walks over and shows her his page of upper and lower case letter B’s and she smiles in approval.  He puts the paper back on the kiddie table, comes to the dining table and climbs on his chair.  He grabs a paring knife and about six strawberries and starts slicing the leaves off each one.  I wanted to capture him on video using a knife so I started filming.  After getting two good shots, I turn my camera off.  Then I hear him saying, “Here you go Zoey.” I glance back and catch him giving her all the strawberries that he had cut.  Then he takes his bowl of muesli and yogurt and splits it with her… Just when I thought the cuteness was over, he gets his step stool from the bathroom and brings it over to the kitchen sink.  He grabs his and Zoey’s cups, fills them with water and brings it to her at the table.

Well, Sister’s advice has worked amazingly for two.  Hopefully she will be at the hospital when baby #3 is delivered and she could tell us how to play Zone Defense.

 

 

I love you too Daddy.

When I started this blog, I chose the name based on my friend’s question, “what do you like most about being a dad?” and I replied, “hearing my son say, I love you too daddy.”  Then when I got the shingles and was thrown into isolation, I got a lot of time to ponder and the title for my blog became symbolic of my desire to please God the Father.  I wanted to tell him “I love you too, Daddy” with my whole being.  This past Good Friday, I got a message from my uncle that my dad had been rushed to the ICU in the Philippines.  On Saturday another message that he was non-responsive.  On Easter Sunday, my daddy passed away.

I never really knew my daddy.  I believe he had a tainted childhood which made it difficult for him to open up to other people.  I remember growing up, listening to my mom tell us about her side of the family; how my grandfather wooed my grandmother; how my great-grandfather forfeited his family’s fortune to marry my great grandmother; how my great-great-great-grandfather was a famous writer who went under a woman’s pen name because the women were the storytellers in the Philippines.  But if I asked my dad how he was doing, “I’m okay.” was as much as I would get.  “How is work?”, “It’s good.”  In the past couple of years, after moving to the Philippines, his phone calls would last no longer than 5 minutes, and would consist of “How are you?, how are the kids, how is Shelly,” and end with “I love you.”  I might be able to tell him a bit more of what we were doing immediately but part of me was angry at him for leaving, so I was in less of a talkative mood every time I saw his “Dad” on the caller ID.  As angry as I was and as short as our conversation was, after he said, “I love you.” I always said, “I love you too.”

Most of the time I didn’t even know what to talk to him about because I had no clue what he was into, or what he was doing.  I feel almost a bit of a jerk for not reaching out more when I saw him last Christmas.

Since he died, some crazy things have been happening that I can only attribute to grace and his intercession.  One of my friends told me that she would offer up a prayer that my daddy could love me more completely in heaven than he could on earth.

My daddy was far from perfect.  He had trouble showing how much he loved me.  He suffered silently.  He laughed silently.  As difficult as it was for him, I know that he tried to say, “I love you.”

Now that he is gone, I feel his presence even more and I say, “I love you too daddy.”